How To Stay Positive When You’re Having A Tough Day

So yesterday I’m talking with a friend and this friend just happens to be a client as well. And we were talking about the different challenges we go through and different topics that I might talk about in my next video. And she said she has challenges sometimes, when she’s having a tough day and she finds it hard to stay positive either about herself personally, or when she’s responding to toxic negativity during her day. So today I decided to talk about how to stay positive when you’re having a tough day.

Now first, let’s dispel something right away.

I am not talking about just being happy and everything will be okay.

We know that that’s not true, right?

So if you’ve heard my content before, you’ve also heard my send-off message that I usually say every time I end a video, where I say…

“Be Positive, Be Motivated, Be Focused and Be Well”.

So when I say be positive, it means having a constructive, positive outlook about yourself, your life and your environment.

So that being said, it’s okay to have a tough day. It’s okay to have a tough week, but the key is to recognize it and to be able to turn it around so that it doesn’t stay that way.

“Our ability to recognize our negative state, to reframe or refocus our thoughts and to reset our mindset, determines our growth.” …Mark Marino

So let’s say you wake up and you’re having a tough day.

You’re not feeling good about yourself personally. You didn’t sleep last night because you’re worried about what you have to do to next day. What you didn’t get done, what you feel like you’re not good enough to do well.

You get up; you drag yourself out of bed and you go into the bathroom and you look in the mirror and you’re not happy with what you see. Now, We’ve all been there. We are way too hard on ourselves sometimes. And we’re usually the hardest on ourselves then we on anybody else.

In fact, if you heard someone else talk to somebody like you talk to yourself sometimes, you’d be offended.

Now, when you’re starting off in this cycle, you’re setting yourself up to have a negative day and respond negatively to almost every situation. So you would agree that we need to break this negative cycle, right?

So what I want you to do is either in the bathroom mirror or the bedroom mirror, I want you to do what I call The Three R’s, which is Recognize, Reframe or Refocus and Reset. And I guess that’s really four R’s, but let’s start with the first one. The first R is Recognize. Now Recognize is Recognizing your state it’s awareness that you’re in a negative state and that it needs to change. 

Any positive growth that we do with ourselves; Any positive growth that we make, first starts with awareness.  Awareness, that there’s an issue and that we need to focus on it.

So the next R, is Reframe or Refocus. This is reframing or refocusing your thoughts.

So what I want you to do with this, and it’s simple.  I want you to take two deep breaths. The reason we do this is because sometimes just with our thoughts, it’s hard to change and it’s hard to reset or reframe our thoughts.

So you need to do something physiological to break this cycle, something physical, to break the cycle.  Deep breathing is known to relax our body, to reduce our heart rate, to make us more relaxed. So I want you to put your hand on your chest and I want you to take two deep breaths and the breath that would be in through your nose and out through your mouth.

And in between these two breaths. What I want you to do is say this affirmation to yourself,

I am positive.

I am focused

and I am in control.

And you say this two times, one after each breath. So after you do this, this allows you to reset your mindset to a positive mindset and go forth and throughout your day.

Now, after you do this, if you’re just starting out, it’s going to be a challenging work and you have to repeat it over and over again. And it may even sound silly when you first do it. And you may say, oh, affirmations are not for me, but try it because the deep breath will physiologically help you change your state. And by saying those affirmations that will get you focused on a positive mindset throughout your day.

Now, depending on what you’re going through, you may, still, feel overwhelmed and stressed because of a list of things that you have to get done that day, or you feel like you don’t have enough time to get it all done.

This may be when you have to say, okay, I got to plan out my day in a list of everything that I have to do and schedule it out.

If you want to know more about how I work with that, you can also look up my four M method, My  “4M mindset Method”. And one of my other videos that talks more about that, we could do a whole weekend just on that.

So let’s talk about the other situation where you start off having a good day and you’re in a positive mindset, but you’re in situations where you’re receiving negativity or toxicity from, let’s say another person, let’s say it’s information or misinformation that’s out in the news or on Facebook or on Instagram and these negative challenging times we’re having. 

Or let’s say it’s a negative event that happened to you that day. You know, sometimes, we don’t have control over the things that happened to us, but we do have control over how we respond.

It was Charles swindle who said,…

“life is 10%. What happens to us? And 90% of how we react or respond.”

You see, again, you can’t control the things that may happen to you during your day, but what you can control is how you respond to them. And there’s another great quote.

Viktor Frankl said

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space, and in that space is our power to choose our response, and in our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

So you see you can’t control if somebody comes into your space and starts talking with negativity and toxicity, but you can control how you respond to that negativity.

You can decide to not listen to it. You can decide to respond with only positivity. When somebody who’s speaking in a negative or toxic tone, really wants the response of negativity in return. But if you respond with positivity or changing the subject to a positive subject, that will diffuse the situation.  If you can remove yourself from that toxic situation, you can do that as well.

So you see in that pause and our decision on how to respond, lies all your power. So you have the power to be positive or to not be negative in response to a negative toxic stimulus.

So in review, if you’re having a challenge personally, when you wake up and you’re having a tough day:…

First of all, it’s okay to have a tough day, give yourself permission to have a tough day, but we don’t want to stay in that negative cycle.

So use my tip of the three R’s where it’s Recognized, Recognize your negative state, and that it has to change, then I want you to Reframe or Refocus your thoughts.

If it’s new, you really have to work at it. If it’s not new for you and you’ve been working on self-growth and self-development, and then it’s a “remind” yourself, which is another “R”.  We could add that to the fourth and fifth “R”, and then it allows you to reset your mindset.

And remember, during your day with toxicity and negativity coming into your world, you have control over how you respond to any situation, it’s in that pause. It’s in that breath, that you decide how you will respond.

Well, I hope this iformation helped you out.

Have a wonderful day!

Remember…

Be Positive, Be Motivated, Be Focused and Be Well,

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