The Best Way To Stop An Argument

Many of you know me from my mindset training, and you may also know that I’m a physical therapist.

Well, the other day when I was treating a patient and we got to talking, which we usually do.

And we started to talk about life and what was going on, which again, we usually do.

And because she follows my mindset training, we started to talk about self-growth and personal development, …which again, we usually do.😃

She started to go on about how she was getting into arguments with her son and some other people in her life.

She said,  “they can be so stubborn.”

And she included herself in that statement as well.

And she said, “we just end up yelling at each other and they always feel like they have to be right.”

And I paused after she told me this and I said, “You know what? As a society, if we focused on this one thing, just this one tip, that we could solve almost 90% of all arguments.”

And when I started to do this in my life, it changed how I interacted with everyone and it made a tremendous difference.

So what do you focus on to avoid most arguments in your life?

You see, the key is…

To focus on what’s right

rather than who’s right.

Thomas Huxley said,…

“It is not who is right, but what is right, that is the important thing.”

You see, most arguments happen because one person or both people feel that they have to be right, and they were so worried about being right or proving the other person wrong, that they lose sight of what’s the most important thing.

And the most important thing is what’s right rather than who’s right.

Very often it is so easy to respond quickly without pausing because you’re so sure that the other person is wrong and that you need to be right.

The problem is, this response usually comes from insecurities about how you feel about yourself and your need to be right.

You see, sometimes we just need to pause, to be aware and to recognize the other person and their point of view.

Pause

Be Aware

And Recognize the other person.

This gives your mind the time to focus on what’s right rather than focusing on who’s right or proving the other person wrong.

Victor Frankl said …

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space, it’s our power to choose ourur response.  And in our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

So what I want you to do is, when you start to find yourself in the beginning of what you see as an argument with a loved one, or a friend, or a neighbor; whatever it is. …

I want you to just take a breath and pause. It will not be recognizable to who you’re with or who you think you’re arguing with.

Just take a breath. And in that pause, that will give you the ability to focus on what’s right rather than having to be right.

So as you start to do this and you focus on what’s right rather than who’s right, you’ll start to find that you have less arguments and you’ll also start to see that there are some surprising benefits to not always having to be right.

And I wrote some of these down right here.

FIRST:   

Recognizing that acceptance is not the same as weakness.

It’s okay to agree that somebody else is right and that your opinion might not be the right one. That does not make you weak at all.  It’s actually a stronger person that can admit that their point of view may not be the correct one or may just be different. That brings my second point.

SECOND:

It’s okay to disagree with somebody.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and that may be different from yours, and that’s okay.  It’s okay to have difference of opinion with somebody.

You know, the old cliche, …

“Let’s agree to disagree.”

There can be two opposing views.  Whether it’s politics, religion, whatever it is.  To understand that the other person can have a different opinion than your opinion, but you can still be together and you can value that person’s opinion.

And who knows, your opinion may change to theirs in the future or their opinion may share with yours.  But it’s okay if it doesn’t.

THIRD:

Prioritize kindness and compassion over having to be right.

Remember, it’s not about who’s right, it’s about what’s right.

FOUTH:

Remember that changing your opinion or allowing someone else to prove that they may be right does not make you, ANY LESS YOU.

To the contrary, it makes you a stronger person.

Be the bigger person.

If they continue to argue, don’t argue back at them.

Take that pause. Focus on what’s right. Be aware of yourself and what you want to focus on.

You’ll find that this will diffuse most arguments before they ever start.

Mahatma Gandhi said, …

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

If you want to argue less, then argue less.  A person that is always arguing with someone else want the other person to argue back with them. Diffuse it by focusing on what’s right and not having to prove that other person wrong or not having to always be right.

Be that change you want to see in the world. If you argue about the house being clean and you feel the other person should do that, don’t yell at them to clean the house.  Clean it yourself, help them.  They’ll see you cleaning the house and they’ll start to clean it as well.   And you start to become more agreeable towards each other.

And you lead by example.

Be the change you want to see in the world or be the change you want to see in your relationship. Be the change you want to see in your family. It works on all levels.

And as you use this mindset and you focus on what’s right rather than who’s right, you will start to see an amazing difference in your life and it will change almost all the interactions you have with people during your day

Be Positive, Be Motivated, Be Focused and Be Well,

When you sign up to receive his blog updates via email.